Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Ozzard of Wiz

The sock pixie lives in the land of the Ozzard of Wiz! (Thank you Skye for the most wonderful name one could think of.) In my land there is yarn everywhere. There is yarn politely sitting in a beautiful basket in the living room, pretending to be disciplined. There is yarn in the bottom drawer of every chest. That is the special time out place for the yarn that misbehaves. There is yarn in all handbags, that's the emergency yarn, the one you pull out when the weird dude won't stop starring at you on the train! There is yarn in the school book shelf, that's the study yarn. There is yarn in the basement, and that's the yarn for the day the world will come to an end. Some people store food and gold, the great Ozzard stores yarn. There is occasionally a project attached to the yarn, in this case socks, but I also know of a few sweaters which are all in time out at the moment!

In the land of the Ozzard of Wiz, there is no need for heat. As long as it is above 40 degrees outside, there will be no heat. The great Ozzard (which might be me) loves to take draconian heating measures, and the values of layering, and wearing sweaters are highly praised. House guests are usually a little surprised at first. They are watched carefully, in case they turn purple before they can reach for a sweater. On a good day, you can even see the great wizzard in her magical coat and scarf inside the house, knitting frantically. "To try and keep her hands warm?" some evil witches would ask.

In the land of the Ozzard of Wiz, the littlest fairy lost her first tooth yesterday, and the great Ozzard started crying in the middle of the street, kissing her pixie which was a baby no more. In this great land, the tooth fairy has odd working hours. If the tooth was lost after 6p.m. she cannot come that night because she did not get enough advanced warning. Sometimes, she outsources the work because she is so busy, and then we run into terrible problems, with incredibly long delays in delivery. Sometimes it seems to the little pixies, and elves that she has not come. They look and they look, and cannot find anything under their pillow. They go eat their breakfast, slightly disappointed, but come back up to their room, after some convincing by the great Ozzard to find that the toothfairy had left something and they just had not looked carefully enough...

In the land of the Ozzard of Wiz, there is a sock factory. One pair is barely finished that another one is started. The socks for the most wonderful mother in law are finished, and socks for the almost 11 year old little elf are in progress. Sometimes the Ozzard loves to just knit the same thing over and over again, but yesterday the wind must have been blowing from a different direction, for she started to knit socks with a seeded rib pattern for the elf, and she just loves it.

In the land of the Ozzard of Wiz, house projects often get sidetracked, and delayed but eventually completed, as will be the case with the living room. It is rarely the case with laundry however, that is always sidetracked! And there is an axplanation for that too! The Sock Monster is responsible. See, the great Ozzard and the Sock Monster have been at war, one producing socks, the other one devouring them. The great Ozzard's war tactics include limiting casualties to a maximum, i.e. as little confrontation as possible, so very little laundry, and a lot of troop buid up, so knit as many socks as possible!

In the land of the Ozzard of Wiz there are some days that are harder than others, mostly because the great Ozzard was up too late knitting, or in this case reading the new Yarn Harlot book...


Anonymous said...

Love your mother-in-law's socks - very beautiful! And, the next pair equally wonderful, in a completely different way. I, of course, have a way to go to get to your level!

My first pair of socks is still in progress...I told you that I finished one, then ripped it all out - just not right! But I have re-knitted that sock, and it is looking much better now, thank you very much... I started the second sock, but have been waylaid by pesky work demands taking up more than the usual alloted time. I am taking the next week off and going to Dillon Beach for Aeryn's school break. I should have plenty of time and quiet there to work on this second sock - the first one is already getting quite lonely...being on its own for a couple of weeks now. Perhaps next time I write I will have a complete pair...

Stephanie (Petaluma)

CDH said...

Dear Stephanie,

Great to hear from you. I hope you have a great time in Dillon Beach, and that you soon welcome the arrival of your little sock's sister.


drmimi said...

I am so loving your posts. Yarn seems to find itself in the oddest places in my house and car. Now that my son has started competative soccer, I am on the move with my projects and desire to create special beanies for him to wear during warmup.
I have started a Yahoo group called the yayayarndivas to support the Saturday afternoon Knitting Circle at the Aqus Cafe.

Caroline, as you are the inspiration for the circle and group I would love for you to join!

Other Petalumans (current and past) also welcome!

Hugs and much love,


CDH said...

Dear Mimi,

You sure are busy, but in a great way. How is your son liking soccer?It is great that you have started a yahoo group, and I would love to join it.
Have a great weekend.


drmimi said...

Subscription info for yayayarndivas:

Send an email to

All are welcome especially if you have a past, current or future Petaluma, California connection.

drmimi said...

Okay there seems to be two kinds of socks- toe first and top down.

The toe first pattern just works my nerves.

I will start my first pair today(bulky yarn) on circular needles top down.

I'm going to need help once I near the heel.

Could you share a basic pattern with the heel part:)?

I'm still working on gauge for the short human's soccer beanie. I'm thinking this may be a wonderful way to bring new soccer mom knitters to the fold. Also a great way to fundraise.

My balls of yarn are still misbehaving. They just pop out of everywhere! I'm trying to avoid buying any new yarn as I have quite the stockpile- should last at least 10-15 projects:)

CDH said...

Hey Mimi,

Sorry, I took a little time to answer your comment. I have had busy days which you can read about in my new post. I will write a clear pattern for the heel of a sock as soon as possible and post it, and will be available to answer your questions. By the way, the top down sock is my favorite sock too.